Last week in my urban class I prepared a culture collage "that visually depicts my individual and 'teachers' identities, as well as the 'source(s)' of these identities, particularly as it relates to me as 'being with and of culture.'" The culture collage was a dreadful experience; something I hope I never experience in my life. Why? Why you say such a thing, many of you are thinking. 'The culture collage gave me an opportunity to examine what experiences, people, things, etc. that are important to me" as one student happily explains in his/her blog. The student is absolutely correct. Nonetheless, an opportunity that I wished I had refused. Seeing these pictures that I chose in my culture collage send chill through my veins and brought feelings and old memories that I had bottle tightly inside my heart. It must be known, I'm not a touchy or emotional person. I don't like to huge people except beautiful women. I don't like to share my feelings--not even to those I consider dear to my heart. I'm not a cold hearted person--I like to keep things to myself. I'm somewhat of a loner--there's nothing more fun being alone in my room by myself listen to music.
The culture collage caused me to remove myself out my comfort zone. I didn't like. Looking at old pictures of myself and people that are important in my life and had shaped my life brought a feeling of sorrow. I'm not going to explain in details about how I felt looking at these pictures because I don't have the balls to do so. I know it would have being great if I write them down. However, i don't have the guts to do so. As I always do, I will keep those touchy feelings to myself. And don't even ask to elaborate my feelings in my blog or in class. I will not do it. The only thing that I wanted you guys to know, unlike most people in the class, the culture collage was a dreadful experience. I did it out of necessity and it's worth 12.5% of my grade.
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I felt the same way about the collage project and I believe if we were to inject this into an urban school, there would be some students who would refuse to do such a personal inquisition into their lives. Whether it is relavant to the lesson or not. I was taught... what happens in this family, stays in this family... and don't put your business out there or volunteer unneccesary information. It's funny that you mention sitting in your room and listening to music. I found refuge in my music (which is why my collage was filled with such references). I, like you, have already dealt with my "issues" and did not need to delve into them again. Sometimes that past is the past and that is where it should stay. I will use the collage in the classroom, but use it as a way for my students to investigate science they see in they're daily lives. I don't think many students who have true "issues" talk about them so easily.
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